Blame It On the Alcohol.

I don't understand the obsession with alcohol. What's so great about it?

I was at a party with [insert party monster friend's name here] the other day and there was alcohol GALOR! Everyone was drunk off their asses, except me (designated driver for the win!). I'm just sitting there at this party laughing at how completely idiotic everyone looks. Have you ever seen someone in their progression to drunkenness? They start out absolutely normal for the first few drinks, then, rather rapidly, they've gone into lala land where all the shitheads go.

Don't get me wrong--I honestly could care less if you like alcohol, I just don't understand the point. A few weeks ago I asked [insert pothead friend's name here] why he liked to drink and smoke shit. Apparently it "enhances your perception and lets you live from a different point of view." I'm not entirely sure why that's enjoyable, but I suppose it could be interesting to see what he's talking about. But why endanger your liver for a change in perception?

I guess that's why people start drinking in the first place--because someone else handed them a beer and told them too. I would love to think that humanity can think for itself, but I would be lying to myself if I attempted to believe that.